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The Barrowland is a sweaty, dark, cavernous canvas for the best bands in the world to go to town on like fevered Jackson Pollocks, squirting sound Findx colour over the pogoing masses below. Leave Stonehenge to the hippies, Callanish is for grown-ups. The pyramids are derivative and the Incas mere weans compared to the inspired druids who erected the 50 stone sentinels overlooking Loch Roag on the Isle of Lewis years ago. These standing stones in the shape of a cross predate Stonehenge by half a millenia, and are similarly rumoured to have an astrological purpose.
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With the summit at feet, Bealach na Ba, just north of Kyle of Lochalsh, is also one of the highest. Hire an Aston Martin especially. With all the lights and colour of the festive period gone, January can be bleak. But every year, cracks sspittal light appear at the National Gallery. Revel in its new EU protection status alongside Champagne and Parma Hamby following the wood-smoked aroma drifting from the cluster of family-run smokehouses loocal Arbroath harbour, and indulge on the succulent haddock meat goenshee over a barrel for 90 minutes. Beside the shop on the corner is a blue door. Stand by that door and look up towards the castle. This is the view of the se at their most soaring.
A man called George Gibson, who was born a few feet from you, behind that blue door, emigrated to the US inworked as a scenic artist in the MGM movie studio between and and painted the Emerald City in The Wizard of Oz. Now look up at the Castle again. Eat a Fisher and Donaldson custard slice. As much a St Andrews tradition as golf, dead saints and posh students. Baking sinceFisher and Donaldson are the closest Fife, or Scotland, has to an original French style patisserie, only with the earthy injection of Scotch pies and oatmeal skirlies. But the creme de la creme of the creme is their custard slice — gooey perfection. Pneumatic tires, radar and penicillin all have their uses, but the one Scottish invention that inspires true slavish devotion around the world is golf.
And what better place to worship the sport that fashion forgot than the oldest playing course in the world, Musselburgh Old Links, where Mary Queen of Scots reputedly played a round in Sadly most tourists are ignorant of this and happily wade through the pool of bronchial discharge. Toss a caber, throw a hammer, eat haggis and watch some Highland dancing — all cornerstones of the Highland Olympiad that take place in Scotland throughout summer. If you want to indulge in the more modern pursuit of celeb spotting, go to the Lonagh gathering, Strathdon — Billy Connolly invites his Hollywood buddies to it every year. It will be held in Dunoon. CallSee dolphins. Moray Firth is home to a family of bottlenose dolphins.
During summer can be seen playing from the Burghead and Lossiemouth coasts, and scores of boat trips can take you into the midst of their aquatic frolicking. Industrial thick wetsuits at the ready as you prepare to ride the best right-hand breaking wave on the planet. Go to the races. The rhythmic thud of hoof on turf mixes with the quickening beat of your heart. Your knuckles go white as you clutch your betting slip. All before the euphoric release as your shot charges over the line by a nose. A day at the races. And with Scotland hosting 88 days of racing a year, the going is good for committed punters and those who enjoy the occasional flutter alike.
When the setting sun colours the white sand, Iona Abbey is still divine. The West Highland Way is picture postcard Scotland set along old sheep-herding, Jacobite-quelling roads.
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Boats leave from the visitor centre, are scooped up by the wheel and placed, 15 minutes glensheee, in the Union canal 35 metres above. Go to a ceilidh at the Riverside Club. For the past 60 years this folk landmark has hosted ceilidhs every Friday and Saturday night, with Scottish dancing lessons every Monday night. There are few finer places to swing a stranger in the land. Less time than it takes llcal boil an egg. The view is great and you get a certificate for your trouble. The forthcoming T Break showcases — featuring the most exciting unsigned Scottish talent — would be a good place to start. Call venue for details. If you are good enough, you can join the hordes that swamp this Hebridean isle every October for the Tiree Wave Classic.
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